Cravings by Shirley P Cooper

It was strange / when the nurse announced/ the forthcoming event / I wanted to tell you / but your weren't here/ I wanted to be told / I was too young / inexperinced / making a mistake / I wanted hints to survive / I wanted you to tell me how you felt as you carried me / how your body changed/ how your relationships with my father came about / what he said when you told him you were expecting / why he left you to cope / why my sister has the same first name / I wanted to know why Papa dissapproved / did you crave mangoes / bananas / ice-cream / and love / did you cry as you told him / did you try to protect your feelings by telling him you'd manage with or without him/ how did you feel as you looked at your swelling belly / did you wake him in the night to go and get you some ice-cream or a Chinese / did you leave two pounds of bananas by the side of the bed / in case you got hungry or did you leave the opened tin of fruits with a spoon in / do you remember the days you cried for no apparent reason / the feelings of loneliness and aloneness / or the extremely happy days when everyone else looked sad / did you eat out of the pot because the plate wasn't big enough / how many times did the child inside you jump to remind you that: where there's life there's hope / I hear he went for the midwife when you were in labour and came back for the christening / is it true that there was a war between Dominica [my Godmother], St Kitts [you] and Anguilla [my Father] that day/ did I jump inside you at his presence / when he said 'if you a de muma an e kick you so, imagine wha  e would do wid me' were you hurt when you felt like a second cousin to a bus/ did he tell you that he loved you / did he flaunt his non-pregnant girlfriend in front of you / did you yearn for his touch in those nine [seven] months would you believe that although I've never known you/ I had a similar experience / twenty six years later.
Time/ would I have done the same if I knew you'd done it?

Cravings. Original Title 'My Mother Uvina Rosetta Cooper'. Page 72 of Death of a Mother Daughters' Stories edited by Rosa Ainley 1994. ISBN 0-04-440928-1   Pandora 1994 Printed by Harper-CollinsManufaturing