Eviction, Mickey Mouse Schemes etc

I woke up on Monday and sat staring out of the window at the early morning traffic Bristol Rd. More cars were going into town than out. Suddenly about 8.30 a blue car pulled up. I sat and watched as a well-dressed man sat rifling through papers. After about 10 minutes he got out ad knocked on the door of the Beechwood Hotel. I hurriedly got the children ready, my two grands who were staying the long weekend in the squat, and got dowstairs. I had an appointment with a Mickey Mouse lookalike and I was taking them with me. When I got downstairs a few people were sitting in the tv room. I asked what had happened and they replied everything was alright so I got into Safari Cars and sped off to the Mickey Mouse (governmet funded, get skivers back to work) scheme. We were very early. There was a coppers party in Small Heath. Probably a drug, gun or terrorist raid. Lots of vans, black shirted and other police. Small Heath Highway was not chocker-blocked. We arrived at our destinationwith 25 minutes to spare. The kids sat down and I went to get drinks. The milky chocholate had no chocolate in and the other chocolate only had water. Should I report them for trades description as they claim that all jobseekers have a choice of drinks.? I then tried sweet tea. Grand 2 said: this is disgusting! Out of the mouth of babes. We then went to see my adviser. She hadn't spoken to the gaffer about getting me funds for premises or business cards. She's had nearly 2 weeks to do it (and mega-government funding).

She asked again if I could work from home. Grand 2 asked is this another one of your boring meetings Grandma. Meanwhile they ate cream crckers, climbed over the chairs and crawled under the 4x larger than jobseekers work station. I was tempted to let them play with the noisy toys but I decided not to. Then Grand 2 demanded to be taken to the toilet. we went. She played hide and seek behind the door. Then she played in the water. I waited patiently. We got back. No 1 asked, when are they going to give you your money. Finally after a total waste of time, effort money (i paid taxi fare to get there) I arranged to see the adviser again next week. Pity the children are back at school. That was the most fruitful , exciting meeting to date.

There were a log of hand signals around the nosiy open-planned office. Was the adviser alright, one asked. We signed out and left. The internet was not working. Much use they are to me sor self-employment anyway. They don't allow malicious, social networks like Facebook, Twitter etc. Millionaires use these sites. Government Funded Mickey Mouse Schemes have a policy carved in stone which says they can't allow me to use 99% of the sites I need to network and set up my business. I have asked, What are you doing for me? To date they reply they're helping me to get back to work. They won't give me their success rates in figures and break just about every Act, disability, child protection, noise abatement. I've just watched the budget. They are going to give more money to these Mickey Mouse Schemes.

After this mandatory meeting, I took the kids to the Library public toilet without locks. Grand 2 found the Seniors Coffee Morning great fun. They had a box of toys including a drum. Lethal. One of the old dears told me that the previous child did not make a noise with the drum. I wouldn't have dared either if I was sitting at a table with about 10 old dears. My grandchildren are adventurous and fun loving. We then went on th coputers. Boring said Grand 2 after she log off Fifi and tried all the other keys. Someone, being very caring offered her some head phones so she could hear the music. So she sat there singing away and nodding her head. Did he wonder why I never gave her headphones. When it was time to go they refused to move so I offered them up for sale. No-one offered me a penny. After trying to return books they never borrowed, trying out the new electronic machines, they came out of the library. I got another taxi to our next meeting. It as women and wealth. They made some money before we got into the taxi because they decided to entertain passersby with some 'Irish dancing'. Someone threw them 6 pennies. so they got into the taxi, fighting over the money. They didn't wat the taxi because it didn't come from Safari Cars. We arrived at the Crowne Plaza and met Mrs Morgan at signing in table. At last some real, old black woman discipline. She used to cook in the original Harrambee House in 1975 and ran Harambee Nursery for years. She even left and came back. The kids were beautifully behaved for the whole session. They even participated. Grand 1 wrote a story which I am going to publish ASAP. She wants it now!

After the meeting I arraged for someone from Saladmasters to come and cook a 3 course meal for us at the squat. Grands and I then spent the next half hour in Crowne Plaza Reception with complimentary drinks, reading the free newspapers. Then we went to the bank then Mc Donalds. After another shopping spree round Poundland we set off for the squat. Bad news. The bailiffs were coming at 11 to the hotel. Not 318 Pershore Rd as I thought. We then had a barbecue, they played skipping and football and danced till they dropped. While they slept, I packed and tried frantically to find someone to drive us to our home to drop all the things we'd accumulated. In the middle of the night I remembered that I'd been to the bank and still had that money somewhere. Bright and early next day I tried to wake them up. Grand 2 decided to climb to the top bunk where I couldn't lift her to the bathroom Grand 1 just ignored me. I should have taken Mrs Morgan back with me. Anyway we managed to get up and get out before 11. I dumped a big basket and a trolley with 6 carriers and got the taxi back to Pershore Rd. For being so good they got some sweeties, Grand 2's favourite pastime. Then we went to 318 and watched Potter on the roof. As it was a lovely day we then picnicked on the drive next door as the bailiffs and police tried to evict Justice not Crisis from 318. We avoided the numerous tv, radio and newspaper people and my Grandchildren, together witnessed an attempted eviction. They didn't mange to evict Justice not Crisis. There was a lot of support for the group. Some people do not want West Warwickshire Cricket Club to pull down houses to build offices and car parks. We then walked up to Bristol Rd and watched the other guys on the roof. There was a police van, bailiffs, reporters and Mr Ghan the angry owner. We sat on the grass and watched. Hey guys, the singing has to improve. Within minutes, the police left. It was a peaceful event. No arrests. We went back into the Beechwood and had the porridge they never managed to get for breakfast. The Grands version is that they wanted porridge and I didn't give it to them. They had Tuna sandwiches from the pile which the squatters were going to eat whilst they evaded eviction. The Grands will be telling their Grands about this.